Hello Blog! happy national day Singapore!! Sorry that i've neglected you and only come back to you now. like what my title state, i'm back to square one again. time flies and i'm actually with this girl whom i shall name C for close to 1 yr 8 mths. Aug 11 is our 1 yr 8 mths tgr but i guess we're not fated to last till then..
Many things had happen throughout our r/s. i'll always rmb the sweetest moments of de process of me wooing her and when the day she say yes to me, i feel like i'm de happiest living guy on earth=) those moment when she actually waited for me at pasir ris for 5 hrs just to wait for me to be released from tekong, when i was dead drunk in a pub at 4 in de morning and she came over to fetch me home. all this makes me feel that hey, she's one of a kind and i'll do my best to maintain this r/s because i treasure our r/s and i treasure her. i rmb asking her what's de sweetest moment i done anything for her. and she said it's during her b'day. 2 wks after we're tgr. i can still rmb clearly what happen. our r/s was full of ups and downs. but we always managed to pull thru it. thank god that there's always a forgiving party in our r/s=)
All were smooth sailing but till roughly a mth ago, things was not meant to be. i've agitated C on 1 of the night and the next thing i hear from her is she had enough and wants a breakup. I's shocked at the moment. after i cool down, i thought it was just 1 of the downs whereby i can salvage this r/s but it was not going to be. her mind was made up. she told me she had been tolerating me for a few mths and this argument spark our breaking up. after she told me that, it sets me thinking how much did i love her and did i really go the distance to love her with all my heart. many things she do for me, perhaps i didnt really show appreciation and take it for granted. she dress up for me hoping to compliment her but i didnt. all my bad habits she tolerated and forgive me only for me to make de same mistake again and again. i's thinking maybe i've really let her down in this r/s.
C told me she's tired already. she'll always place her bf as her utmost priority and often neglect her own lifestyles like de things she wanted to do i.e piano, tennis etc.. She's entered uni a few mths ago and i believe uni make her change her mindset. C is able to see what's more important to her in her life now.
My officer told me gals will 'grow up' in a r/s during 2 stages. 1 is when de guy was in army especially tekong and another is when she enter uni. we survived 1 but failed de other.
C has given her all in this r/s and let me experience what is love and perhaps it is time to let her go for her to pursue her dream. But for me, i don't bear to let her go so easily. Call me selfish or b****** or anything but i can't accept the fact that she's gone just like that. my point is we've been thru so much tgr, why cant this r/s be salvaged?
I'll give each other time to cool down and to think through but i know it's of no use cause C's mind is made up. C is very persevere and when her mind is made up, nobody can change anything. i've nothing to say to win her heart back and therefore, i guess our r/s ended this way.
i rmb de first day we're tgr she told me we'll still be best friend even if we break up, i promise her but i know it's a promise which is hard to kept. I want to say, i cant get over u, how can i possibly be your best friend?
i know our r/s has reached a dead end and no turning back but deep down in my heart, there's a voice telling me to hang on. telling me to give both of us time to think through. things are not as bad as it may seem to be. i wanted to follow my heart but i know time was not on my side. i wanted to confide in ppl but what they told me is not what i want to hear. So dear blog, thanks for hearing me out. You're de one that hears me out without complaining to me. I'm grateful for that. I promise u for as long as i cant get over this r/s, i'll always be here sharing my stories with u..
Blogged
@ 12:30 PM
A little too not over you -
